A wise turtle said that..

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
-Master Oogway, KungFu Panda.

Sheesh. I'm not sure where they actually got that line from, but it sure made me think a while.

'Coz after all that I've gone and am going through, I found that:

'The more things change, the more they stay the same."
-Alphonse Karr

I still feel lost. I'm still getting hit on by them. I'm not settled in my work, life, both. But people from my past are continually cropping up in my life. In the most coincidental of places at that.

And my teachers have become more apparent (Thank you amma & mummy). Now, He sends them in the form of wise maternal mentors. Oh & not to forget my stepmum, who I've also learnt much from. So I suppose it is true. That,

"When the student is ready, the master will appear."
-Ummmmm, I forget. Lao Tzu right?

But what's the lesson here, God?

What are the significances of all that I've gone through? What is the reason for Your letting me experience the sights, sounds & smells of the cosmopolitan community that is KL? (read: I ride the bus back home now). Why am I always sent to a place where I feel like such an alien, yet still feel at home? (Alhamdulillah for that!) How do I take care of my family, when I can't even take care of myself? (That's the answer ain't it God?)

Why God why?

If everything is indeed written, I ask that You guide me, God. In these tumultuous times, I am unsure of myself, even more than before. (yeah, yeah, I'm still indecisive). Analysis paralysis hits me most of the time. Even when it's just a simple question of what to eat.

But options are what make us different. Of our having them. Of our choosing them. Of our forsaking them.

& so mummy's right. It's not about the options. Not the money (not really :-p). Sure isn't the experience. 'Coz I know I can do them, I just don't really want to. I am simply searching for my purpose in life. & what is that?

Well, I'm still waiting for that turtle to tell me.