I

I ......
I dream to be free,
To be free as a bird;
To soar.
I want to be happy,
To just smile at the world,
And be carefree.
I enjoy life
And all the pleasures that it brings me,
But not completely ....
As....
I loathe people who are
Arrogant, stereotypical, hypocritical
But I am one also.
I despise the fact that people are
Often pretending, lying, wearing masks,
Yet I wear one as well......
I......
I will try to strive and achieve
My hopes, my dreams, my aspirations
And be all that I can be.
For,
I do not want to fail in life
To be an embarassment, a shame, a disgrace
To all who know me.
I....
I yearn to love and to be loved
By a person who cherishes me as much as I do her
Or even more.
I hope for her to be my guiding light,
My guardian angel,the saviour of my soul;
My everlasting everything.
I wish for her to be my destined soulmate,
To have our lives intertwined together,
Forevermore.
I....
I need to repent and change my ways,
But I am lackadaisical and not struggling
To do so.
Yet.....
I want to place myself by His side,
When I do not even answer
His calls.
I.......I.......I..........
Am I worth this life at all?

1996